Trying

Just when I thought I could keep it all together,
I curl up into a ball and cry,
Alone with my thoughts in my sanctuary waiting to be delivered from this experience I don't want to endure.
So
I
Lay
There
Til
I
Sleep
And just when I thought that I've locked the world out,
You chase me in my dreams,
Not allowing me to sleep
So I cannot find peace.
Not to be confused,
You are not an idol,
Or a god that I worship,
But a person that I can find comfort in.
In this foetal position I'm in,
Because a child is what i want to be again,
So I can change the past- impossible,
And do things the right way,
But that I cannot do.
I cannot rub out what has been written in pen, 
I cannot amend what has been branded in ink,
Erase the memory off this USB because even then it will still be stored in my heartdrive.
But I'm trying to do right,
I'm trying to do right by you,
To make things right again,
I'm trying. 

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