Letter 1- Overwhelmed

I get so overwhelmed sometimes
I get emotional when I think of how far you've brought me
I have no idea what lies ahead and I know I should put all my trust in you, have faith in you and cast my burdens onto you but I forget how to.
I'm tired of being overwhelmed because that manifests itself into fear and then I'm just scared.
It's not a matter of want but more like need and I need you but I tend to believe I can do it by myself when I can't. I lie to myself and act as if it was my grace that brought me this far and not yours...you were with me all along.
I don't talk to you as much as I should and that's when I lose focus. 
I've been blinded by so many things and people around me I forget to call you and say thank you. 
To be honest thank you isn't enough.
Someone was alive this morning but by this evening there was no longer life in them. That thought scares me and I'm not mocking them but it reminds me of how blessed I am but like I said I lose sight and what should be my appreciation letter turns into a list of complaints. I found this new love for myself because I found love in you.
I still get overwhelmed though... So anxious.
You've brought me this far so I know you'll see me through.