California nights

Unless she is told. How would she know?

I'm not talking about her worth in the physical,
This is a mental and spiritual thing 
A warfare between all 3 dimensions that she cannot rationalise. 
A confused little girl trapped in a woman's body looking for love in all the wrong places. 

Soul searching in the California sunshine as the sun scorches her heart reminding her to keep her guard up.

Guard so high up that sees into the heavens a spiritual realm she longs for, a love she yearns for, this isn't what she wants, she wants more. But she can't have it...

Call it solitary confinement, a world unknown to those who call her "friend" or "family" but a place that her cold heart calls home. 
A pessimist that allows her insecurities to consume her putting on a facade just to give her some kind of peace. The scars she bears can no longer be hidden, as for love she's scared so it is forbidden.

The moment she waits for is now here, the California night sky swallows her as she lays her head to rest, the cool breeze brushing over her skin causing a standing ovation from the follicles  reminding her that it is still possible to feel. No longer wanting to feel she finds comfort in the California night.