For. I. Know.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
He said he has a plan
But I have mine,
So how does this work?

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
I'm still trying to figure this out,
I'm still hurting,
Was me getting violated by my uncle a part of his plan?
Or how about the unborn child that I didn't want.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
Seeing my parents struggle to make ends meet,
They seeked him first and he promised that everything will be ok,
But day after day,
I saw the tears rolling down my mothers face.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
Failed relationships,
Broken friendships,
All the bullshit,
I can't deal with this.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
Was me self harming a part of his plan?
Because as I digged into my flesh,
As brown turned to pink turned to red,
I.
Felt.
Nothing.
The pain I had endured over the years had made me numb to this.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
Unless I had a face that wasn't mine,
Or the long silky hair that girls bought online,
I wasn't deemed as beautiful in the eyes of man.
Is turning me from the ugly duckling into a swan a part of his plan?

For.
I.
Know the plans I have towards you says the Lord,
Why do I keep hearing this?
What plan do you speak of?
Show me your face so I can believe you,
Then I will know that what you say is true.

Then.
He.
Showed me the world,
My world,
The smile of my beautiful son,
And told me joy was yet to come,
I wasn't the "damaged goods" I thought I was,
I am of royalty all because,
He made me anew.
The blessings showered upon my parents,
Amazed me just because they had patience.
I no longer failed
I was no longer broken
True love I found in Him,
And then in myself.
The pain now a distant memory,
Even the scars I could hardly see.
Although we did have a bad break up,
No longer did I hide behind the mask you call make-up,
I began to take care of my glory,
Because I began to love me.

For.
I.
Know the plans I have for you says the Lord,
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
Plans to give you hope and a future,
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you,
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.
I will be found by you.

Damn he really did have a plan,
And in the process I found me too.

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